The 3 “Dont’s” before “I do”
Don’t be in a financial disagreement
Let’s face it, the biggest threat to a successful marriage is finances.
A recent study conducted by researchers from the University of California at San Diego explored one important factor that can come between married couples. For the study, the researchers analyzed responses from 5,300 couples in Germany who were surveyed by the German Socio-Economic Panel from 2014 through 2017. The survey questions focused on the participants’ risk-taking behaviors in several areas of life, including their finances.
Ultimately, it was clear that couples were more likely to separate when they felt differently about taking financed-based risks. Couples who disagreed the most on finances were twice as likely to get divorced compared to those who had the most in common in this area. Disagreeing on other risk-taking behaviors, including career decisions and driving habits, didn’t impact the participants’ relationships long term.
This isn’t the end all be all, but maintaining a healthy financial standing can boost confidence in a long, successful marriage.
DON’T SKIP OUT ON COUNSELING
We know, getting help from others, is for people with problems.
This may not always be the case though. Having a neutral arbiter has shown very helpful to bring understanding and drive out differences.
According to research done by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, families and couples who have attended family or couples therapy sessions indicate high levels of patient satisfaction. Over 98 percent of those surveyed reported that they received good or excellent couples therapy, and over 97 percent of those surveyed said they got the help they needed. After working with a marriage or family therapist, 93 percent of patients said they had more effective tools for dealing with their problems. Respondents also reported improved physical health and the ability to function better at work after attending therapy.
So while you may not think you need professional advice, pre marital therapy has been proven to be successful.
DON’T TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PRIZE
When planning for that special day, couples tend to put on blinders and think about themselves. Instead of thinking about what this day means to you, think about what it could mean to your future spouse. Think about things that will bring them joy while concentrating on their needs and desires. When it’s all said and done, the “I do” is all over with, you finally get to take your prize home. Don’t get us wrong, we aren’t classifying your significant other as an object, but you belong to one another now. That in itself is a prized belonging that deserves your selfless acts and thoughts during this chapter of your lives.